Well hello there, imaginary fans. Miss me? I'll bet you did. I mean, if I can't imagine an imaginary fan so that they are pining desperately for my every word, then I have no future in fiction. Which I do - obviously. I really do. (Cue slightly maniacal laughter)

So what the hell have you been up to, I hear you cry. Well, life doesn't stop for a wage slave husband and father of three. Would that it did. But then I suppose I wouldn't have the nourishment of my job, my colleagues, my friends and family to mutate into twisted characters for my work. I'd have a load more time to do the mutating though.

So the part of my mundane wage-slavery that diverted me in this case was the prospect of not having a wage to slave for. You see the big company I work for has joined together with another big company, their intention being to form a company that makes just as much money as the 2 old companies, but costs much less to run. Sorry - I am already boring myself. To cut it short - there was a risk I might have to find a new job, so I had to turn my writing time into cv-writing time. Anyway that risk has receded - for now, so I'm back! Yay!

It's not easy though, this self-pub lark. I'm have so much trouble getting back on this horse that I am actually calling upon you, my non-existent fans for motivation. So come on then - what do I do first?

Get onto the Amazon page, you say? Check my sales. Oh dear. Apparently they are experiencing a delay in updating my sales info. Rest assured that they are working to update this page as soon as possible. Seriously? How long does it take to count to zero?

Right - I've got a plan now. I'm going to attempt the i-Books thing first.

(several hours pass...)

Oh my days. Welcome back to self-publishing. Apparently you need an i-Mac to publish your book on iTunes Connect. I hate Apple.

Ah well - I have a new muse now, and it is my will to overcome the high tower technology fascists. I'm off to find another alternative e-Publisher. Wish me luck..